Originally Posted on Medium 12/19/2022

Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash

This is purely a hypothetical question.

I’m not going to tell you ten reasons to start a blog, or how “easy” it is and how “essential” it is to build an audience online, or anything like that.

I’m actually seriously asking, why start a blog? Why post anything online at all?

In the age of the internet, everyone and their grandmother has an audience with the entire world. Data and communication flash across continents in storms, invisible beams of electromagnetic radiation that we swim through daily.

What gives me the right to raise my voice above any others? What do I have worth saying? More importantly, what do I have worth writing?

Is it worth the frustration of being in the 99% that no one listens to?

Is it worth the risk of being in the 1% where everything you say is carefully examined under the light of a million minds?

If there’s one thing the age of information has taught us, it’s that not everyone should talk. And even more, that nobody, not even the wisest men on the earth, should talk perpetually. A wise man, when he reaches the edge of his wisdom, is no greater than a fool. Someone once asked Stephen Hawking, “is there anything you don’t understand?” and he answered, “women”. It’s a lighthearted response, but truth is often revealed in jest. No one is an expert on everything. And if you want to write a Blog that’s authentic and specific to you and your personality, then it will also have to be authentically stupid and wrong on occasion.

I believe everyone should be allowed to talk, but I think it is rarely a wise man who shouts his opinions or declares his own rightness to the world. I think most wise men don’t give speeches or have blogs, instead they share their wisdom in quiet rooms, in front of fireplaces, where only a few come to listen. This is a function of the principle: the more you learn, the less you know. That is to say, the wiser you are, the more you are aware of your stupidity.

So, great. Now am I just trying to say I’m smart by saying I’m stupid? Am I saying, only a very wise man could be as stupid as I am? I don’t know, maybe I am. Maybe I’m just acting out of insecurity. Maybe I should just come out and say, “You know what? I’m smart about some things!” I mean, if I start every article or post with “Don’t listen to me, I’m an idiot” then how will I get any likes and shares and views and hearts and thumbs ups and smiles and retweets and comments and and and and?

Is it not egotistical to start a blog? Is it not the same as saying, “I’ve got something valuable to say, listen to me.” Who am I to say I have anything of value to contribute?

I don’t know that I’m confident enough to start such a business (because a blog, or any nonfiction writing online is essentially a business proposition. A business where you, yourself, are the product). I don’t know that I could be arrogant enough to convince people to read what I write.

My nature and my intuition tell me to be silent, to write but not to share it, to live in a hut on a mountaintop (at least figuratively). I want to go against the grain and remain silent in an age of shouting. I always have, I’ve never liked social media.

But maybe that is just insecurity on my part. Maybe I’m afraid I’ll say something foolish (which is inevitable) and that it will last forever, ricocheting around servers, LCD screens, and between a few readers’ minds.

I hate being wrong. I am wrong so often, about so many things, it drives me up the goddamn wall. So who am I to share my thoughts? Maybe I’m just another bumbling idiot on the internet.

We all die anyway, and earth will burn in the inferno of the sun, the heat death of the universe yada yada yada.

So I guess I’ll just take a risk and speak my mind once in a while. I can’t always hide behind fiction and art to express myself.

If you read this far, you surprised me. I applaud you for being able to tolerate what it’s like inside my mind, even for a short period. It’s hell in here. It’s obsessive thought loops and theories and ideas all colliding and fragmenting to form an impassable mess, not unlike a ball of steel wool. Yes, if you took the top off of my head and looked inside, I think all you’d find is a bird’s nest of steel wool, insecurity/self-doubt, and an ungodly lust for Mexican food.

If you want to hear me say more stupid things, follow me on my stupid medium profile and everywhere else where I share my stupidity.

Thanks for reading,

-Michael

12/19/2022 4:49PM